Drugs & Alcohol
Text Box: Marilyn Ryan, Alcohol and Drugs Counsellor My name is Marilyn Ryan and I started work at Bonaparte Indian Band as the Drug and Alcohol Counselor on Monday November 5, 2007. I am fifty-seven years young and I originate from the Xa’xtsa - Port Douglas Band situated at the north-end of Harrison Lake, B.C. I am Stl’atl’imx; my ancestral name is “Tee-ack-chu-leela” (phonetic spelling) which means “The Woman of the Lillooet”. My ancestral name was my great-grandmother’s name. I come from a family of seven sisters and four brothers; my parents are Victoria and Norman Gabriel (now deceased) – my father was from Mount Currie, B.C. I have two adult children, Vicki Newman and Reginald Thompson (my son, now deceased); my daughter is 38 and my son would have been 36 years old; my grandson, from my daughter is Herbie Hanuse and he is 20 years old. My common-law husband of 12 years is Raymond (Dooley) Gregoire who comes from the Okanagan Indian Band. My step daughter from Raymond is Lynn Gregoire who is 35 years old. I was trained at the Nechi Institute, the Justice Institute and the IRSSS Institute, most recently “Respectful Relationships” from the Justice Institute. Prior to coming to Bonaparte Indian Band, I was doing front-line work within the communities of Stolo Nation situated in the Fraser Valley of British Columbia; I have been in the helping field for 12years, I did childcare work in a group home, a youth counselor at a youth healing center & family counselor, for the past eight years I have worked in the addictions field. I endeavor to walk in balance with my native teachings while working with a mainstream title. I believe in the goodness of people. I always respect and honor the way that people choose to do their ceremonies and traditions in any community that I work or visit with. I do one to one counseling sessions, family & healing circles, couples support, referrals to treatment centers for substance abuse and referrals to trauma programs, follow-up counseling post-treatment, and referrals to therapists. I am available for home visits or visits outside of the office area; my hours are flexible for those that work and wish to have support. My hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm Monday through Friday, unless otherwise requested. ALL MY RELATIONS, Marilyn Ryan Left Arrow: Back Left Arrow: Next Text Box: Coping With Grief And Loss Grief is a normal, usually painful, emotional response to a loss. Unlike depression, normal grief usually goes away in a reasonable amount of time. Grief is often accompanied by a psychological, physiological and behavioral reaction to an irrevocable loss. Grief is an emotional reaction to a loss of some type. Mourning is the psychological process that individuals go through to cope with loss. Grief can result from: Loss of a significant person. This can be either through death or the ending of a relationship. Changes in health or physical functioning, such as receiving a diagnosis of a chronic disease or losing the ability to walk. Change in a physical appearance, such as a loss of a body part or severe scarring. Loss of status, such as the loss of a job. Stage one involves shock and disbelief and is characterized by: Numbness Throat tightness Crying Abdominal emptiness Denial and disbelief Sighing Sense of unreality Stage two involves preoccupation with the loss and is characterized by: Anger Sadness Insomnia or lack of sleep Loss of appetite Weakness Fatigue Guilt Dreams Thoughts of the loss Loss of interest in activities Social withdrawal Stage three involves resolution and is characterized by: Pleasurable thoughts about the past Regained interest in daily activity Ability to form new relationships or roles Some people can experience and resolve grief quickly. Others grieve a significant loss for years. It is not abnormal for people who have lost a spouse or child to feel grief on and off for the rest of their lives. Cultural differences play a part in how people grieve, as well. Usually the length and intensity of a person’s grief depends on the closeness of the relationship to the person who is lost. The grief and pain created by the loss of someone very close will probably never be completely absent. It is realistic to expect that in time, the intensity, duration and frequency of the painful feelings will lessen. SOME GUIDELINES FOR HELPING Helpers often ask questions such as: “What should I do? What should I say? Am I doing the right thing? Did I do the wrong thing?” Here are some suggestions for helping the person in grief. Make contact. Make a phone call, send a card, attend the funeral, bake and deliver cookies. Don’t let discomfort, fear, or uncertainty stand in the way of making contact and being a friend. Provide practical help. It’s usually not enough to say, “If there is anything I can do, let me know.” Decide on a task you can help with and make the offer. Be available and accepting. Accept the words and feelings expressed, avoid being judgmental or taking their feelings personally, avoid telling them how they should feel or what they should do. Be a good listener. Many in grief need to talk about their loss: the person, related events, and their reactions. Allow grievers to tell their stories and express their feelings. Be patient and accepting of their expressions. Exercise patience. Give bereaved people “permission” to grieve for as long or a short a time as needed. Make it clear that there is no sense of “urgency” when you visit or talk. Remember, there are no shortcuts. Encourage self-care. Encourage bereaved people to attend to physical needs, postpone major decisions, allow themselves to grieve and to recover. At the same time, they may need your support in getting back into activities and making decisions. Model good self-care. It’s important for you to maintain a realistic and positive perspective, to maintain your own life and responsibilities, and to seek help when you feel overwhelmed or don’t know how to handle a situation.